Getting to Know The Neighbors Better…At 3:30 In The Morning…In Slippers

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by — Posted in What to know

We’ve lived in our neighborhood for just over 2 years now.  And while I can’t say that I’m on a first-name basis with all of my neighbors, we’re a relatively friendly bunch.  We wave and nod “hello”, we keep a casual eye out for each other, but we don’t hang out at each other’s homes or have the old-school neighborhood block parties. 

But when we finally decided to get together….we ALL got together.

Because who doesn’t like a neighborhood meet-up on a Saturday.

Morning.

3:30 in the morning, to be precise.

It started with a sound that can only be described as equal parts squealing tires, elephant stampede, roof collapse, every glass window in the city breaking at once, and the ending of the 1812 Overture.  All of that and more roused me, my husband, my neighbors, and my neighbor’s neighbors out of slumber and stumbling into the street. 

My bleary, half-asleep gaze was quickly sharpened with the realization that my front yard was not exactly the way it looked when I went to bed a mere 4 hours earlier.  Abruptly, I had apparently inherited a new vehicle…sort of

and had my front yard re-landscaped:

I can’t be positive – but I’m pretty sure the first words out of my mouth ran the gamut from panic, concern and obscenity before finally resting at a nice mix of shock, astonishment and relief that everything was outside my front door and not smack-dab inside my living room (which is truly where it sounded like events took place).

After ensuring that no one was hurt, and as police descended upon my neighborhood, I mingled with my other shell-shocked neighbors taking part in the game “what in the hell just happened?”  And even though we’re no experts, this seems to be what we collectively think may have occurred:

The driver of the offending vehicle –

decided to exceed the posted speed limit by a few dozen miles-per-hour (or so). 

It’s highly probable that a failure to stop at a clearly posted stop sign resulted in a close-encounter with this vehicle at the intersection:

Speculation continues and assumptions are made that the collision resulted in the highly-offensive driver to lose control of his vehicle and clip the side of this truck:

neighbor's truck - few doors down

nail this utility post:

and plow into this truck:

which careened forward to hit this vehicle:

which ran into this vehicle:

simultaneously coming to a stop in my front yard, resulting in a close encounter with my fence:

and ending with an uninvited “boop” on the bumper of my truck.  

boop!

But don’t quote me on any of this.

The force of the impact was strong enough to separate the license plate from the vehicle. 

WHICH vehicle, however, is a bit of a mystery….

Somehow – by the grace of God, karma, fate, whatever your particular belief – no one was injured in this calamity.

7 vehicles, one fence and one utility pole suffered damage…

But everyone walked away.

and here I was so happy that the grass had finally JUST started growing back in….

On the upside, we had the safest street in the city for quite some time with no fewer than 10 police cars on scene.

one police car for each arrow

But then again, what else was going at 3:30 in the morning?

As with all good parties, there’s always such a mess to clean up afterwards.

In the street:

and sidewalks….

even as far up as my front porch….

a little bit of Chrysler here, a little bit of Ford there

We even had to call in the heavy lifters for help hauling the remnants away

In fact, cleanup of the entire scene didn’t actually end until about 9am, when the final tow truck (4 in all) pulled away and the last bit of debris was dumped into the trashcan.

It’s not the ideal way to spend time with one’s neighbors, but when you consider the what-could-have-beens, we can be thankful that it wasn’t worse.    And who knows – in a weird way, perhaps this was a good bonding experience of sorts.  Maybe it will lead to more get-togethers in the neighborhood.

Next time, however, maybe we can do this at a more reasonable hour of the day. 

And with fewer police officers.

Maybe.

 

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